Breaking the Habit
The past couple of weeks have been really difficult in my household. There have been lots of tears and late nights for both my daughter and myself. The time had finally arrived to wean my daughter from breastfeeding, and it was no small task for either of us.
I’ve known for about two months that my body was no longer producing the milk that it once was when my daughter was first born. But I wasn’t worried, as she has been on solids since six months, and getting plenty of nutrition from her other foods.
After seeing a pediatrician in Vancouver, I was advised that my breast feeding had become nothing more than a pacifier for my daughter. At one year of age it was time, he advised, to stop breast feeding completely. I had known the time was coming and I knew that she didn’t really need my milk anymore, but it still was hard to actually hear it.
Every woman’s body is different and so is their milk production. For me, I was never one to produce a ton of milk. I had stopped breast feeding my son at five months of age, as my milk was no longer enough for him (he was a big eater). So I transitioned him to formula fairly early.
But as I mentioned, it just depends on how much you are producing and how long you can continue to produce. Some women can breast feed for two years (or more) and still not have any issue with their production amount.
What I’ve found is that when it is time to wean, it is better to do it gradually rather than suddenly. My weaning has been a two month process with the night feedings being the very last ones that I held on to for her. She would wake up during the night and I thought it helped put her back to sleep. So although nights have been the hardest in our household these past couple of weeks, the entire process has been less overwhelming due to the number of feeds that she was receiving at the end.
The process has also been a very uncomfortable one for the past two weeks, due to the occasional engorgement. I expressed a bit of milk each day to help alleviate the pain. I also experienced some headaches, so I kept Tylenol on hand when I felt one coming on. I would also recommend for moms to check their breasts regularly, making sure they aren’t developing a blocked duct (which will feel like a firm tender area on the breast). If you do, it’s a good idea to see a physician.
I also had to change my pattern at night with my daughter. I had to hold her a different way when I picked her up, and I wore different attire (no nursing shirts) and I didn’t sit in the same chair that I usually sat in, to nurse her.
There are a lot of resources out there for moms when the time comes to wean. I found a great website at www.caringforkids.cps.ca/babies that is developed by the Canadian Paediatric Society. It answers a lot of questions for moms who are looking for answers on the weaning process. Also, I must stress the importance of talking with your physician before you embark on this very important transition for you and your baby.
I know I should take solace in the fact that I was able to nurse for as long as I did, and be thankful that it was such a positive experience. But it is time to let go of this stage and look forward to the next stage in her life. What I discovered through this process was that it wasn’t just my daughter that had to be weaned, but me as well.
I am curious to know what other mom’s experiences have been with breast feeding? When did you determine when enough was enough?
Tags: Mom Talk
2.10.07 at 11:39 am
crunchy comments:
Well, I sucked in the bf’ing world.
With my first, I was recovering from the awful labour and a massive dose of PPD….and I just didn’t have the right state of mind to deal with let down and all that on top of a baby who seemed to really ’suck’ at it too!
I tried for a few weeks supplementing with formula and then gave up.
I lasted a bit longer with no. 2, but my milk production was teeny and with a large hungry child I was basically sitting there feeding non stop.
So there was no weaning for me. When I stopped feeding and pumping, the milked just stopped.
I can imagine how hard it is though..between the physical issues and the emotional issues attached.
Not to mention all the guilt we feel for not quite being up to snuff.
2.10.07 at 1:05 pm
Carol comments:
Hi Kelly
Unfortunately that kind of advice although very common from ‘well-meaning’ doctors and others is none the less misleading and shows a lack of understanding about breastfeeding as more than ‘just’ nutrition. The fact that you had to express because you were getting full and also give advice about avooiding mastitis indicates that you certainly had a milk supply. Of course your child was no longer getting the ‘full’ total breastfeeding thing but you wouldn’t expect that in a child of this age anyway. Whatever the age and whatever the amount there is still value - immunologic always, nutritional always, emotional always…
Only sending this to try and make a valid point for extended breastfeeding as I find it distressing that mothers stop when they don’t really need/want to
Carol
2.10.07 at 4:18 pm
Irene comments:
Life is so full of transitions - small ones - big ones - yet every single transition is so deeply wedded into our lives, and so very important. I was really touched reading your story.
2.11.07 at 11:50 am
Deb comments:
Hi Kelly,
I agree with Carol. I feel bad you recieved that advice. My son stopped abrubtly feeding over some poor advice i got regarding “helping” him sleep through the night. (i, like you, would nurse him to sleep and whenever he woke up would offer the breast) well, the sudden change caused him to go on a nursing strike at 10months of age. It felt like someone died. I really mourned and felt such sadness for the loss. For my son too. I felt such a loss that I expressed milk for the next 14 months. and if he were still nursing, i would have kept going.
my advice, a docotor, unless they are Specially trained in lactation should “NEVER” give advice regarding this subject, except to give you a name of a good lactation consultant. Doctors are not trained to know the realities of breastfeeding or the MAJOR benefits. The best thing is to see lactation consultant who can help you decide, and/or give you support to carry on.
Deb
2.12.07 at 12:15 am
Kelley comments:
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and experiences on breast feeding! It really is such a huge decision as to when to wean, isn’t it?
I feel that I should clarify that
for one year, I never received a full night sleep - as she became used to waking during the night to get a feeding - that at the end - was just a few sucks (enough to lull her back to sleep).
I also became less healthy at the end. I lost a lot of weight from breast feeding and was under weight. I lasted for as long as I could emotionally and physically to breast feed my daughter.
Did I want to severe the ties? Probably not, but logic told me it was time for me and for my body. The doctor just sealed it for me.
Every woman’s situation with breastfeeding is different and every woman has her own personal reasons as to when they decide to wean. Some women can breast feed until two and beyond and want to - while others cannot or do not want to, for even a few days, and go straight to formula.
I strongly believe in the benefits of breast milk, and feel very blessed that I was able to provide for my daughter for the year that I did - and I don’t regret my decision to wean her now, because it was the right decision for me and for my daughter, who now sleeps entirely through the night.
2.15.07 at 10:45 pm
Lisa comments:
Hi Kelley,
While I completely agree with Carol and Deb, that you got some very bad advice from a doctor who probably knows little about lactation, and that supply issues are most definately not an issue, it sounds like you are ready to wean. I understand completely, having nursed both my kids for 4.5 years straight. My little guy turns 2 in less than a week and I honestly can’t wait to get my body back. I personally believe in child-led weaning and nursing to the WHO recommended minimum of 2 years, but nursing for even a year is an amazing gift you’ve given to your daughter.
Good luck!