Comments on: identity crisis

By: Scattered Mom

Scattered Mom — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 15:31:09 +0000

It’s interesting how strangers seem to think it’s their business even to ask. My husband is 20 years older then me, and I was constantly mistaken for his daughter for years. The questions were quiet (like your bank teller) or outright “oh my GOD you’re KIDDING me, that’s your WIFE?!”

When I was younger it made me uncomfortable, but then we began to look at it as their problem, not ours. It became funny, and when someone would turn red and stammer, we’d laugh at them and say, “It’s okay, happens all the time.”

Of course with a child, that’s different. But maybe you can think of some great comebacks for those questions (”does she speak English?” “Course she does, don’t most Canadian kids?”) or even “where did you get her?” “She’s a home grown baby…” lololol.

People will comment on anything that is slightly different no matter what. I think the trick is just not letting it get to you.

Scattered Moms last blog post..Gimme Gimme

By: jmb

jmb — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 22:19:34 +0000

Hi Andrea,
I’m reading the archives and came across this post. I’m sure no one means to be rude they are probably just trying to think of something to say. Still they should wait for clues before perhaps putting the old foot in the mouth.
Incidentally I have a Italian friend here who just adopted a little girl from China about 2 years ago. So you can imagine what the two caucasian Italians with the Chinese Italian speaking youngster hear.
How about she’s the fruit of my womb? Sorry
jmb (nobody important)

By: Claudia

Claudia — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 19:53:31 +0000

Oy, how frustrating. Makes my eyes roll back so far they hurt! I agree that in this country, in this day and age, one would think we have become more accepting and not be so interested in labeling children and families. Good luck with the rest of the comments you are bound to hear down the line! Geez.

OH and I too like the “she came from my vagina” answer hehehe

By: Heather

Heather — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 04:39:56 +0000

I like the ’she came from my vagina’ answer - whooooeeeeeee…what would they say????

Actually, sometimes I think people are genuinely interested but don’t know what to say or how to ask - but they want to know…

I do think children of mixed blood are quite often the most attractive, beautiful children in the world

By: B

Sat, 24 Feb 2007 11:28:13 +0000

i don’t see race. i just see human beings.

By: Andrea

Andrea — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 19:30:43 +0000

Hi all - thanks!!! ya maybe playing the “i dont have any idea what you are talking about” road might work. Ill try it the next time. Ill let you all know.

By: M

Fri, 23 Feb 2007 18:45:07 +0000

What bothers me the most about this is, why is it anyone’s business one way or the other. Our children are our children, regardless if they came from China, Vagina, or Mars. People are so nosey.

(Commented originally as dkfamily, but Crunchy told me how to log in properly…)

By: crunchy

crunchy — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 18:38:48 +0000

Thread jumping here..Hey Mo! Glad to see ya here!
Email me if you want your password info!!
(if I didn’t send it already..I can’t remember stuff like that!)

By: dongurigal

dongurigal — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 08:05:49 +0000

(oops, glad you found your muse Andrea, great post)

Hope people stop assuming that Toddler Ji’s adopted–must be frustrating.

Personally I like dkfamily’s suggestion.

By: mo-wo

mo-wo — Fri, 23 Feb 2007 06:19:57 +0000

Gawd that is wretched. I think so much media exposure has been poured into Vancouverites, and neighbours, about adoption from China and they just don’t think.

If it is any consolation I have two or three old German ladies in the neighbourhood who when looking at my daughter would say — your husband he is Chinese man, no?

And, he so isn’t.

No didn’t think it would help. Let’s just say — newsflash — sometimes white people can be freakin’ ignorant, eh?